Puppies are not like children and YAY I won

lalalalalalalala

Cause children do not require to be walked at 6am of a morning – nor do they leave shit lying around the garden for you to trod on, nor do they get the back seat of your car saturdated in muddy wet stuff…..actually I take that last one back, they actually do haha

So, Korben puppy is now 12 weeks old and has been getting walked since Sunday of last week – not continuosly obviously although my feet think so. He is getting bigger by the minute.  I kid you not, I leave for work and when I come home he has grown an entire inch – its astounding.

On a horsey note – and thank goodness he is not getting any bigger – Arion and I are continuing to hack out in an attempt to bring him back into work slowly – considering the massive buck and attempt to launch himself into canter we had the other day, he is clearly struggling with his understanding of the word “slowly”.  I am however, glad he feels a touch better in himself.  In the meantime I am heading back over to my old yard and having some jumping lessons on my old loan horse Bailey, the idea being that I build up some jumping confidence on her before starting work with Arion over jumps.  I did leave him out without a rug on yesterday and when I went to bring him in, I felt like I was dragging an oversized half drowned rat into the stable haha

In other news, I am now £500 richer and £500 holiday vouchers richer and have an impending appearance on daytime television to look forward to.  How so?  Well……my employer holds a weekend festival of fun for its employees every year and each year they have a talent showcase – I had to audition for it and I managed to make it through to the live finals.  It was last Saturday and would you believe I won the whole thing – you could have fit a truck in my mouth my jaw was so close to the ground in wide open gawp mode when they announced the winner.  To say I was a little surprised was an understatement of humungous sorts.

Work sucks as always though, and them giving me loads of dosh has not made my workmates any more bearable – they continue to annoy me to death.  heehee

Oh Im raiding tonight – woot!

Wow has it been a year already??

Cripes – I have been so busy having an enormously full life these last 12 months I almost forgot I had this blog – I promise there are no other blogs, I really have just been mad busy lol

Well where to begin?  Well, Im fine healthwise, the head is doing ok and has featured in 2 magazines and 2 newspapers – 2 of which actually printed the picture of my head injury.  Haha, I had images of people settling down that Sunday morning to read their paper with their breakfast, taking one look at the photo of my skull protruding from my head and deciding that perhaps today was not a good day to eat!!

I have moved Arion (remember him, my horse?) from the huge livery yard to a small DIY livery yard a few minutes from my house. This has caused some weight loss as I have to shovel his shit myself now.  Unfortunately he has had some medical issues of his own and had several visits to the vet and an injection of cortisone into his hocks as he wasnt going properly at all 4 months ago.  Yesterday we had our first canter out on a hack and he was going nicely so Im rather pleased with him although I think we can rule out a visit to Badminton Horse Trials in our future riding careers – oh wait a minute, that wasnt on there was it? lol

Im still working – have changed my hours and am now working 8-4pm Mon – Fri which is fine and gives me plenty of time to ride.  Not entirely happy in my job at the moment but  thats due to the people rather than the job itself and I have to say thats the first time in the 10 years I have worked for varying departments that I have been able to say that. There was a “girls night in” at one of their houses and practically the whole team was there besides 3 of us – one is 64 and wouldnt have gone anyway, the other was invited but couldnt go so that leaves me and I cant figure out why or what I have done to piss them off so much. Perhaps they just plain dont like me or perhaps I have done something to annoy one of them.  Initially I was rather upset by this revelation, particularly because one of the clique is my manger who is always so nice (it was her house they went to) and when she discovered I knew about their “girls night in”, she made a botched attempt at explaining it by lying about it through blustered offerings of  “oh they just turned up” – yeah sure they did which is why one girl was invited earlier in the week (where the fuck is the roll eyes smiley when you need one). I said nothing though, and have already applied to other areas of the business for a few positions. Fair enough its her house and she can invite who she wants to it – but exclusion from workplace social gatherings is tantamount to workplace bullying and Im not sticking around to see where that goes.  Nor is it the first time I have been excluded apparantly, its just the first time they have been caught out.  I thought I had joined a team of nice individuals who were above bitching and mean girl school yard behaviour – apparantly I was wrong.  Maybe Im too much of a geek for them and should probably be paying more attention to the brand name on my shoes or jeans rather than playing Warcraft but to be honest if thats the kind of person you turn into when you go fashionista – I would rather stay a geek. It makes me feel kinda quesy in my tummy sometimes but I’m a grown woman and I will get over it. I have been dealing with way more important shit in the last few weeks but for some reason this has affected me the most – what strange creatures we are.

My weekends are busier than my working week and very much keep me distracted, as the kids have various clubs to attend and I can barely find the time to ride, not to mention that I go through more petrol at the weekend running them around everywhere than I do going to work 5 days a week on a 50 mile round trip!!  My daughter has now expressed an interest in becoming the next Dr’s assistant (and that would be tv Dr Who not a brain surgeon) and is now attending a performing arts school at the weekend which is costing a fortune but she is loving it- she has announced that she will be attending the RSAMD to study cause thats where David Tennent went apparantly.  My son is heading into his 3rd year at school – he is doing fabulous despite his Aspergers, and I have seen a massive change in him this last year. He requested a prospectus from Glasgow Uni a few weeks ago and after pouring over their courses has now decided that he will be studying Physics with Astro Physics!!  I fully expect to find Dexters Lab under my house one of these days. He is also consumed with his Warhammer club which he attends religiously every Sunday.  My house if full of inch high soldiers from varying factions and stinks of model glue and paints – but hey he’s happy!!

And now to the exciting news to kick off the new blog – cause I will be updating more frequently now.  We have a new addition to the family and no its not a baby (Im not completely off my rocket).  Its an Alaskan Malamute puppy called Korben (as in Korben Dallas from Fifth Element) and he is sooo the cutest thing in the world, although that quickly evaporates when he pees on the carpet and I have to clean it up!!  I had added a picture to the end of this blog. He is 10 weeks old and a complete sweetheart.

Anyway Im off riding as the sun is shining and I need a good gallop to clear the cobwebs.  Will chat to myself more tomorrow lol

Was May pretty uneventful or was it just me?

Yeah so its been a bit of a while since I updated the old blog, and Tracy was bugging me to write some more and a few of the Pawpad crew have been on the ole email blower for updates so, now that I have a quiet 5 mins to myself I will update for the last few months.  First lets start with some family news.

After our holiday in Blackpool, the blog for which I actually wrote in May but only just published now cause Im a lazy cow, not much really happened in May to be fair.  The kids’ dad lost his job again so the measly maintenance that I get from him stopped.  Not that I actually got it with any regularity anyway, just when he feels like it.  The kids are becoming less and less interested in him and its getting more obvious as they get older.  He is not interested in their schooling, nor their hobbies, nor anything really.  I told him a year ago that Dylan was being tested for Aspergers – then when we got the diagnosis I called him to tell him “yes our son does have Aspergers” and his exact words to me were “what the fuck is Aspergers”  I mean come on, if you cannot be bothered finding out for yourself, you dont deserve my kids.  It’s was a rough month with Dylan in May.  We had a few Aspie moments as we are now calling them, and we are slowly finding ways of dealing with him that work for him.  My mother is making more of an effort since my full on rage at her for previous behaviour and my sister has so far kept her mouth shut, which really is for the best.

Caitlyn took a part in the school play, and oh how proud was I watching her acting debut up on stage at her schools version of West Side Story and her delivery of the character Maria – her destitute sobbing scene at the end was sheer brilliance and she received a roaring round of applause when she finally stopped bawling over the death of young Tony (portrayed by the very talented young Troy who happens to be best friends with Caitlyn).  I think I may have a little actress on my hands, which would not really surprise me at all. She is coping remarkably well with having a brother with Aspergers and seems to really understand everything that we are doing with Dylan and how to deal with him.  For a 10 year old she is so considerate and caring and shows a maturity way beyond her years – that is until Troy from High School Musical comes on the telly and suddenly she is a blubbering wreck screaming like a Beatles fan at a concert lol.  There is no accounting for taste really.

During the month of May I also considered the possibility of changing my shifts at work because 13.5 hours a day is killing me at the moment and I am absolutely sick of it.

On the riding front, Arion is doing great and May saw us take our first tentative leaps back into show jumping.  We started low, cross poles on the ground, working on our approach and my balance, which sucked really badly to be honest and I did lots of hacking with Tracy and Kamber.  I am pleased to report that Kambers reverse napping action no longer bothers me nor makes me scream like a big girl.  I was getting more and more confident out hacking and we were cantering round the park more and more.  I actually found myself wanting to jump again.  Little by little the jumping bug is working its way back into my heart and my head and I am no longer satisfied with “just flat work” and telling myself that we “dont want to push it too far this year” or “we are going to take our time” is just not entering my head as often as it once did.

So thats pretty much the month of May – it was dull it was boring and it was just May.

We went to Blackpool and nobody was killed by a speeding tram!

Hihihi its been a while, sorry, just been so busy with life not had a chance to come on.

Well our holiday to Blackpool was great really. The kids had a fantastic time emptying my bank account to the point where I should have just given them the card and the pin number and saved myself the daily walk to the cash point. In all fairness we crammed a helluva lot into 5 days so its not surprising that I spent so much. But holidays are for fun, not for penny watching so we just went daft.

We saw the Tower, the kids loved the play area and it gave me and Kev a chance to sit down and catch our breath. We did have an issue with Dylan while we were waiting for the lift to do the Tower Top Ride. He decided to have a small panic about it just as the lift arrived so I had to step aside and sit down with him while Kev took Caitlyn to the top of the Tower. Once he had calmed down we went for food and on hearing all about the Tower Top from Caitlyn he decided he would give it another try – bless her, she was trying so hard to convince him it would be perfectly ok, pointing out that the Tower had been there for years and hadn’t fallen down yet, it was so sweet to watch her trying to reassure her brother. She is such an understanding child and has taken his Aspergers in her stride. She never mentions it but she just seems to naturally know how to deal with it. So in the end, he did go up to the top of the tower and he loved it. They both ran over the Walk Of Faith, the large glass section of the floor and got certificates to say they had done it. Dylan even went right to the very top of the tower with me, climbing the few flights of stairs upwards despite the rather windy conditions.

We visited the Dr Who Exhibition, which was lots of fun. Caitlyn is a huge Dr Who fan and came away with several souvenirs including a pair of Dr Who pyjamas. I drew the line at paying £300 for a real life sized Tardis though, I would have nowhere to put it even though she offered to give up her bed and sleep in it to make room. haha

We walked all the way from the South Pier to the North Pier, took a horse and carriage ride, played on the amusements, ate toffee apples and candy floss till we felt sick. We walked on the beach at 9pm in the evening in the wind because we were determined to take a walk on the beach before we went home. The kids drew shapes in the sand and, despite the wine, it was quiet and lovely.

Our flat was lovely, 2 bedrooms, a kitchen area and bathroom. All mod cons available and comfortable and clean. We could not have asked for more and we only saw it when we wanted to sleep. We left the flat at 10am every morning, had breakfast at the cafe at the bottom of the road and didn’t get home till after 9pm.

We spent a day at the Pleasure Beach, which was huge fun. Dylan came on some of the rollercoasters with me and Caitlyn stuck to the more sedate Beavers Creek rides, some of which I went on with her which was funny. The boys vanished for half an hour to go on the Valhalla ride – an indoor water ride – they came back dripping wet much to the amusement of us girls and we teased them relentlessly about it.

All in all it was a fun 5 days, which we finished off with a trip to the Zoo and the Miniature Village that I had not been in since I was a child myself. With it being Easter they had a bunny hunt which the kids took part in and they were rewarded with a chocolate egg upon handing in their completed sheets. The rain held off until we were leaving and at 2pm on Friday as we were driving out towards the motorway, it started coming down by the bucket load.

So some nice memories for the kids.  So some nice memories for the kids.  Some holiday snaps for your enjoyment – I am planning on doing a photography course this year so have tried to take some nice snaps with my little Kodak clicker, not professional I know but I wanted to see what I could pull off with the minimum of equipment – let me know if you think they are any good lol

Money, money money, its not really terribly funny at all Bjorn!!

It’s leaving my bank faster than a rat from a sinking ship this month If it’s not one thing it’s another and it all started with my car last month which I had a right carry on with. I took my beloved old 4×4 to the garage and was prestented with the £115 quote for replacing the alternator belt and the power steering belt plus labour (the parts only cost £10 each so I must have the most expensive mechanic in Scotland by the hour).  I took it in last Monday morning and left it in their capable hands to get the work done and I gets a phone call at 4pm to tell me they have the wrong size belts from their suppliers and can I leave the car with them till tomorrow as they have already stripped the engine (2 hours of work on my Pajero).  Unfortunately for them, the only way I can get to work is by car, there is no bus or train service to Livingston from here so I needed my car so they were left with the possibility of having to put my car back together again and then me bringing it back on Wednesday and them having to strip it all again to change the belts.  Not my problem, I either wanted my car back with the belts tightened as a temporary measure (which they did for me the Friday before) or with the new belts in place.  Them she calls me back to tell me they have located 2 belts of the correct size locally so I can picl my car up at 5.30pm but, its going to cost me an extra £10!!!!  I think not!!!  I promptly explained to them that the fact they had the wrong size belts was not my doing and that I was happy to bring the car back in on Wed to have the work done for the quoted price – if they chose to source the belts from a more expensive supplier in order to get the work done that day, it was their decision so they could foot the bill for it.  She didnt argue with me and I paid £111 at 5.30 and joyfully picked my car up at the agreed time. What a cheek though, expecting me to pay for their suppliers mistakes.

I had to pay the vet bill from late on last year too, £219 in mud fever fees, and Arion was due his annual booster and I got his back checked too. Of course the vet found a stifle injury on his right hind which is why he has been so stiff so I am looking forward to receiving the bill for his Bute and his check up now.  On a posiitive note, I had the saddle fitter out today and to my delight, she has said she just needs to reflock my current Albion saddle so no need to be paying out £700 for a new one – just £60 to reflock the existing one. Of course I now have to wait over a week for that to come back from the saddlers and cant ride my horse – but I can ride other horses at the yard so its cool and it will give him some rest for his stifle although he will still need to be walked out in hand every day.

Dylan’s long awaited Halo Wars game came out at the weekend, he has been talking about this game since last October, so we went along to Gamestation this evening and bought it after school.  He couldn’t just get the game though, he had to give me the puppy dog pleading eyes for the Special Edition at £50 and I caved when he threw his arms around me in the shop and announced to Cumbernauld Shopping Centre that he would “love me foreverandeverandeverandeverandever” and he would “keep his room tidy for a whole month” if I let him have it.  To be fair he did put his £15 vouchers towards it so it only cost £34.99 in the end and I have the happiest son in the West of Scotland who is still telling me he will “love me forever”.  Bless!

I took the car to the car wash this evening and just as I put my coin in the slot and lifted the jet wash hose, the heavens opened and it started pissing with rain.  Not to be wasteful I continued cleaning the car trying as best I could to ignore the fact that I was getting a washing too.  The children sat in the car and laughed at me, well they were laughing until I opened the car door and threatened to give them a blast with the jet spray heehee

We have booked a wee holiday for the first week of the Easter holidays and will be taking the children to Blackpool.  They have been desperate to go for ages so we may as well take them and get it over with.  I hate the place and I have terrible memories of a childhood filled with annual  holidays to Blackpool for a fortnight where the only good thing about the entire trip were the Blackpool donkeys who I adored and wanted to stay with all the time and the fact that the Circus had real animals in it which, as a child, I thought was quite possibly the coolest thing ever!!  I hated the fact that I could go on holiday and meet my entire street from home in between the North and South Piers.  I hated the fact that I got sunburn, every year, without fail.  I hated the fact that I had to sit in a hotel bar with my mum and dad while they got merry on whisky and I was supposed to amuse myself somehow.  Amusing myself usually meant firing as many 10p’s as possible into the little Space Invaders game in they foyer whilst trying not to die of complete and utter boredom.  The year that the Prince of Wales married Diana was the worst because it was everywhere, there was no escaping this royal bloody wedding and my mother wanted to stay in the hotel and watch it.  I was completely uninterested in it and wanted to go play with the donkeys.  I ended up in the basement pool room with the hotel owners kids laying over the pool table whining about how bored we were.

I am hopeful that a trip the Blackpool with my own kids will help to redeem my memories of the place.

February catch up!

This being back riding and working is taking up all of my time and I am barely getting a chance to update my blog.  Having a life again is great fun but altogether exhausting at the same time.

Anyhow, riding is coming along nicely and Arion is being a wee star.  We has gone from taking an entire half hour riding lesson to get on the bit and looking dressage diva like, to taking 15 mins to look snazzy.  My riding instructor is delighted and will be videoing a lesson for me next week so that I can see how wonderfully poncy my horse looks in dressage mode.  We have also taken our firt tentative leaps into jumping with a mixed bag of results.  I have so little strength in my back and arms at the moment that I couldnt lift my own arse off the floor.  Seriously, weak does not even cover it.  So when Arion goes into jumping mode, he gets stronger, and while he is not the strongest of horses he may as well be the equine equivalent of the Worlds Strongest Man for all the use my muscles are at the moment.  So trying to keep him from running off around the course with me is proving both difficult and hilariously funny for anyone watching.  Last week for example, my arms went bluegh and we ended up heading off in a random direction with Arion deciding to jump the nearest set of poles, backwards.  Bless him. he knew he was supposed to jump something, at least he tried.  At the moment we are jumping poles on the ground as though they were jumps, and that’s quite high enough for me at the moment.  We can go up a notch in March….2010 maybe.

Dylan has been doing great.  Since the inception of several rules that I have had to instill into my family, mainly the issue of dealing with discipline for him, this last week or so has been very positive for him.  Raising your voice to my son will achieve nothing other than frustrating and upsetting him however, sitting him down and having a conversation with him and pointing out how he could have done/dealt with something better does seem to be working.    We are finding more time for one on one stuff with him too, although I am making sure that our daughter also gets more one on one time too.  I don’t want her to feel as though he is more important than her just because of his aspergers.  She has also proven herself to be a very grown up little girl through all of this and has demonstrated an understanding beyond her 9 years of what her brother is going through.  Don’t get me wrong they still argue like cat and dog, but she adores her brother and even when he has one his “I hate my sister” moments, she will just shrug and say “yeah I know you love me really” and 5 mins later they will be laughing at one of his ridiculous jokes.

Today, Dylan and I went to watch the show jumping at the yard and he made some sponge cakes to take with him for my friends. It was his idea and he made them completely on his own, with me watching his every move from the kitchen table whilst pretending to read the morning paper and enjoy a coffee.  It was very difficult to resist the temptation to help him or do something for him -  but he managed fine and his cakes may have been wonky and a little crunchy round the edges, and some of them may have resembled biscuits instead of cakes, but the look of pride on his face as he took the first batch out of the oven and set the tray on the counter was absolutely priceless.  They didnt last long at the yard and other than him being cold because he refused to take his jacket with him, we had a lovely morning until the car decided not to start and we needed a jump start to get home.

So now I need to spend money on my car – probably an alternator or a starter motor which will set me back at least £100.  And the damn thing is due its MOT end of March, like it couldn’t have just waited a few weeks to break down.  I so want this car to last me a while till I can save up for a decent one which will take to next year probably.  I want to stick a a tow bar on it and buy myself a horse trailer – but sshhh don’t tell my mum, she thinks I am saving up for something else.

First hack in nearly 5 months and I did it with the wind in my hair

Quite literally too because it was really blowy today.

The weather here has been absolutely awful, it’s windy, it’s cold and it rains, sleets or snows periodically, not quite able to make up it’s mind which method it wants to get you wet by.  Oh the joys of living in Scotland – but it could be worse, I could be worrying about earthquakes or volcano’s while out riding so I guess we have it ok really.

Anyhow, I arranged a hack with my buddy Tracy, who owns the positively delicious Kamber,  a dark bay gelding Warmblood.  So I got up nice and early this morning and headed to the yard only to get stick at the traffic lights at the roadworks round the corner – for 10 whole minutes that damn light sat at red, so I gave up, reversed and went the long way.  It was probably the cold, I hear they tend to jam up in the cold weather.  So I arrived at the yard late, as usual and got my boy all ready and we headed off.  Well, once I had managed to drag my arse into the saddle we headed off.  We mounted up using the smaller mounting block and being that I had not ridden for 4 months my legs are a little stiff so it was rather funny trying to climb up on to my huge 16’3 horsey who probably felt like he was going to be pulled over onto his side at any moment by this big lumbering idiot attempting to get on his back.  Not to worry, the legs will loosen up in time, I hope!!

So off we went to the park, and the horses were very well behaved considering the weather.  We had a few moments of Arion spooking slightly at stuff but in that wind who could blame him.  My hairiest moment was when Kamber realised he was leading and decided to put in a quick reverse but failed to check his rear view and nearly drove his arse straight into Arions face which I will admit made me slightly nervous at the time.  I got over it quickly though and we continued on our way.  I was a bit nervous when we left the yard but having Tracey to chat with helped ease me and once I was in the park I settled down and besides a few occasions where Arion decided he didn’t like the way a bush looked or the noise of the donkey in the field (well that donkey noise is rather annoying) we made it round without incident.  We even managed to have a canter at which point I realised that my head has obviously shrunk from all the surgery when my hat promptly fell in front of my eyes and I couldn’t see a damn thing.  Luckily for me, Tracy gave a verbal “I’m slowing down now” signal or we might have had close visitation with Kambers arse for the second time today.  I have told Kevin I need to buy a new hat, oh what a shame!! So a very successful first hack out since surgery and Tracy and I will now hopefully be regular Sunday hacking out buddies.  Before long I will be cantering round the park and getting annoyed cause we aint going fast enough lol.  Hopefully future hacks will not be accompanied by high winds – incidentally a few hours after we got back it was snowing.

Arion also had a visit from the dentist today and he did very very well.  The dentist remarked “I wish they were all as good as this” and Arion got some extra treats for being such a good boy.  His teeth are in excellent condition and he just needed a little rasping to smooth off some rough edges, otherwise nothing to worry about.

I now have 3 lessons a week booked with Dawn, Mon, Wed and Fri – I am determined to get back to full fitness and ridability as quickly as possible.  I want to start jumping in the Spring – I think I said before I didnt want to jump at all until later this year but bugger that.

I had to edit my post cause Tracy without an E put in an official complaint that she was not Tracy without an E in my blog. All fixed now Tracy..without an E.   Hahahaha.  Damn it I need smilies I tell you, smilies damn it!!!

Alien Wars – Warhammer and £8.70 for parking

So, they brought Alien Wars back to Glasgow for a few months having originally opened it there in 1992 I think it was.  I recall the laugh we had running through it when our mates worked there and the fact that we used to go in under the influence of alcohol and almost die laughing so hard at the aliens running around and everyone screaming their heads off.  Dylan was desperate to go so we took him and his friend from school along tonight – I took them in while Kevin stayed in the cafe area with our daughter, she is just too sensitive and would have absolutely freaked out if we had taken her in.  They absolutely loved it, they were running for their life when the marine yelled at them and absolutely freaking out when they saw the aliens – oh wow it brought back some memories and its something I am so pleased that I could share with him.  He loves the movies so to be able to go to this was so much fun for him…and for me, I still laughed my way through the whole thing, but I still ran like hell at the thought of an alien behind me.  LOL

We then enjoyed a McDonalds and while walking back to the car nipped into The Game Workshop and the kids ended up taking part in a Warhammer demonstration which they loved and they are all begging for the game now.  I am taking them back next week for a demo on painting and creating their own army – should be fun for them and they have a couch I can plonk myself on and read with a coffee while they do their thing. By the time we got back to the car, the parking cost £8.70 which is outrageously expensive for a few hours – I will have to find alternative parking next time we go into town.

I have a riding lesson booked for tomorrow at 12pm.

Arion in the school

The case of the wandering cat and the sore muscles.

Did I mention that I went back to work on Tuesday.  It was very nice to see everyone and I didn’t really do much on my first day other than wander around talking to people and answering inquisitive questions about my surgery.  Several people did not recognise me without my bandana which was permanently fixed to my head for a year after the first round of surgeries, but I have hair on show and I have a fringe – they are amused by this.  I was quite tired after my first day though but am glad to be back – although I probably won’t be glad to be back once they start letting me do some actual work haha

Funny thing happened at work that first day.  I was bored so I was browsing the Internet on my break and I had my weekly look at the Cat Protection League cats for re homing section that I check out to see if there is anything that remotely resembles my cat Charlie who had been missing for nearly 6 months.  We had pretty much convinced ourselves that he was not coming home.  I saw a cat which looked a bit like him so I called the girl to ask a few questions about him.  First thing she said was that the cat was found in Blantyre which is 8 miles away from me, so I thought unlikely to be him.  She asked me some questions and the more I answered the more she went “hmmmm” and then she asked me to give her a few minutes till she called the cats foster-er.  2 mins later my phone rang and the foster-er is telling me that the cat I am describing is identical to the cat she has sitting in her living room.  My heart almost jumped out of my mouth at the thought of it being him….so we arranged for me to go straight to her house after work to see the cat so I could see for myself if it was him.  All the way there from work I convinced myself it wasn’t him but when I walked into the house and saw him lying on the couch there was no mistaking my boy Charlie.  To say I was deliriously happy would be an understatement – I was crying tears of joy and the little bugger just sat there like “hey mum where have you been”.  So he came home with me there and then, is now grounded for the remainder of his 9 lives and is happily snoozing at the bottom of my daughters bed where he always sleeps.

So, yesterday I got on board my horse for the first time in 4 months.  I was delighted that when I tried on my riding hat Thursday, there was no pain so immediately confirmed my riding lesson with Dawn for first thing Friday morning.  Kev came with me to photograph the event and off we went, having dropped the kids off at school and headed straight to the yard.  I was like a kid at Xmas I was so excited.  He had not been ridden for 2 weeks over the holidays and had been kept in his stable for a week seeing as he had the start of some mud fever and I didnt want it to get any worse.  So I lunged him first which is just as well cause he was like a bucking bronco for 1o mins on the lunge.  So I mounted up and we had a lesson with Dawn and it was knackering, it was sore,  my position was awful, I was red in the face and completely out of breath but it was the best half hour of the last 4 months and I loved every second of it.  Today, every inch of my body is aching, with the exception of my toes possibly, and I feel as stiff as a board but at least my body has remembered what muscles we are supposed to be using when riding.  I have a long way to go to get back to where I was 18 months ago but it is a start and I have every confidence in myself and my RI that I will get there  Tomorrow I am going for a hack with my friend Francis and I have another lesson booked for Monday.  I am back in the game at last.

First ride in 4 months

Big long catch up!

Dylan feeding an Emu in the Lake District last year

First of all Happy New Year fellow bloggers, its been a while so here is my catch up.

OK, the staples are out…it was not as bad as last time with the pain and the screaming and the crying, but it was still pretty sore and there was lots of Mr Hevs hand squeezing going on.  Bless him he never complained once either.  My head is still full of scars and feels weird and itchy.  My head is still a tad swollen , although not the extent it was when I got my staples out.  I have been making daily attempts to fit my riding hat on my head ever since the staples came out and we are getting there…I reckon another few days and I will be able to ride my horse again.  In the meantime I have been at the yard every day grooming and spoiling him with treats.  Just to be around him at the moment is great and to be able to be at the yard, chatting to my riding friends, watching them ride their own horses, catching up with everyone…it’s been fantastic.  I have booked a riding lesson for Friday with my instructor, just a nice easy walk and trot session to begin with because my leg muscles will be screaming afterwards as I haven’t ridden for4 months.

Horror upon horror I have put on weight too!  People keep stating that “what did I expect laying around doing nothing for 4 months” but I still feel crap about it.  I am not back up to a size 16 after previously being a comfy 12/14 with tone.  It doesn’t help that all my muscle has died and will need retrained and toned up again, this just makes me feel even fatter.  I have had to order some new clothes for going back to work and cannot yet wear the nice items of clothing that my mother in law bought me for Xmas.  It will come off soon enough with regular riding and doing other stuff, I may go to the gym for boxercise classes or similar just to help.  The not smoking anymore is not helping as i am snacking more to compensate although I am very aware of this so try not to do it too much.  I have now gone almost 4 weeks without a cigarette and the kids are very proud of me.  That alone is worth it, never mind the health benefits.

I have become much more aware of the aspergers affect on my son over the holidays too.  I am starting to figure out what triggers his frustrations when he completely shuts down and will climb under his bed rocking himself back and forth and talking to himself.   All I can do is leave him to get on with it until he chooses to come out and talk to me which took several hours after a day at his grans where his gran and his aunt (my sister) were both trying to get him to put his shoes on and leave the house.  The problem was that they were both trying to encourage him, be firm with him, yell at him and threaten him with discipline at the same time while he refused to put his shoes on. His younger cousin was running around with his sister, the noise levels were going up, 2 people were yelling at him and Dylan cannot cope with this, the end result being he shuts down.  He cursed at his Aunt and his Gran and just kept repeating the same “screw you” phrase over and over again until they left him alone.  Mum got really upset, my sister then topped it all off by making the statement “he thinks because he has aspergers he can get away with murder”.  Later I would spend 20 mins screaming at her for this foolish foolish error in judgement..no lets call it what is is…fucking moronic and stupid statement.  I told her if she ever said that to him again she would never clap eyes on him again and I would personally shove my fist down her throat.  I understand that we all have to deal with this and its new to us all, but what a fucking ridiculous statement to make to a 12 year old child.  I have very little time for my sister, she is an ex heroin addict, very needy and lazy and never thinks before she opens her big mouth.  I feel great pity for my nephew who is only 2.

Anyway, enough sister bashing.  We got Dylan home and I tried to speak to him but he was too wired so I left him to calm down and then we had a chat about how he has been feeling .  He got really upset at the thought of making his gran sad and felt bad for the “screw you” comments but said he didnt know why he said it.  He did make it understood that he felt frustrated because there was too much going on around him.  I had a chat with my mum which ended up an argument.  My brother has 2 kids who are autistic with different needs for both of them but he lives 250 miles away and they see my mum twice a year for 2 days if they are lucky.  My mum decided it would be a good idea to compare my child with my brothers children and to say that “Alans kids would never speak to me like that!” to which I stated how the hell would she know because she rarely sees them, she has no idea what my brother deals with having 2 autistic kids, nor can she expect me to be an overnight expert and know exactly how to deal with it all given that I had only found out my son has aspergers a week or so earlier.  We didn’t speak for 2 days and then for 2 days after that every time we did try and speak we would end up fighting.  My mum just cannot accept that I don’t have all the answers for this one, I have to play it by ear and learn how to make it easier for my son, not her.  She is an adult and will need to learn how to deal with this too.  We did eventually make up though but its been a very stressful holiday period this year.

So we have learned that Dylan does not cope well with bustling noises in small places, he is fine at a large environment, say a funpark, but in the sitting room of the house, calm is required to keep him from getting frustrated.  It does help if he is the one making the noise though, as he will happily sit in his room and listen to Linkin Park at full volume while playing his X-Box 360, it just appears to be a probem when it is a noise he cannot control.

We have also learned more about the eating situation – he cannot cope if he feels he is being forced to eat something he does not want to eat. He must decide on his own that he wishes to eat it and no amount of encouraging or bribing will work and this is more likely to make him not want to eat it.  I am not so worried about this as he does eat quite healthy although not varied.  I have decided that next time we go shopping, he will be allowed to write a list of things that he wants me to buy (within reason) and we will go shop for it together. He likes omelette’s (so long as I make it), loves cheesy pasta (so long as Kev makes it), he loves broccoli, chips, carbonara sauce, cucumber, pizza, mince and potatos (so long as his gran makes it).  He will eat cheese and yoghurt too so its not like all he eats is rubbish and e has his favourite restaurant that we go to every month as a family and he loves the pizza there.  He has his best friend at school who he has over during the week and he eats very well so I try and make him something nutritional and tasty in the hope that Dylan will decide that he wishes to try it, this is how he discovered spaghetti carbonara and now he is a huge fan.  So lots of reverse pshychology required for the eating.

We went through a few after school hobbies last year which he started off loving and then suddenly went off.  With the Navy cadets I think it was the staff as he mentioned this to me a few times.  They had no idea how to deal with an aspergers child though and it kinda went bottoms up at the Halloween party when they decided he was helping himself to the sweets beyond an acceptable limit.  I have no idea how this went down as I was not there and messages left requesting they contact me to discuss have gone unanswered, but when he came home he was upset and adamant that he would not be going back.  No amount of coaxing would make him return. We also went through the At Home centre, martial arts and guitar lessons, nothing stuck.  So we are kinda stuck at that one and he hates football so thats a no goer.

It’s a learning process for us all…we have made some progress over the past few weeks.